...self service?
Have you ever used Palm Graffiti for any thing more than a quick note?
I doubt most anyone I know (except probably Asia) could keep all these
key strokes (or are they pen strokes ?) in their head.
Phooey! Wish somebody would reinvent my MobilePro with a real OS (not Win CE or Win Mobile or whatever name its using this week)........
Anyway, Don & Asia's conception stories reminded me of a happier time in my marriage that may have been the turning point in our relationship...as I said, this story has layers of humor & tragedy, so bear with me...
From the time Simon hit 18 months, my wife was in full nesting mode and wanted me to father Bubba's half - sibling. I made an honest effort, but apparently was mis-firing.
Wife made an appointment with the OB-GYN. She left with a diet and nutrition plan. I left with a schedule of when to have sex with my wife.
I liked my prescription better than hers. Sex 4 times in 7 days---guaranteed? I'm there! My wife was NOT amused.
After 3 months of what I called ''Rx sex'' with no results, the OB-GYN referred us to a "fertility clinic" which freaked my wife out.
We took the city bus all the way from our little east side apartment to the swanky west side neighborhood where the clinic was located. The huge number of expensive cars gave me a clue we were way out of our league.
When we saw our chart we knew we were in trouble. The chart had warning labels all over it because of our insurance.... It appears the HMO had strict rules about procedures and policies that had to be followed. We had filled out our questionaires (mine was four pages, my wife's was 27 pages) and the doctor was going over them all with us.
The doctor turns to her and says, "While you're here, I want to do a thoough examination just to save us some time. While you're both here I also want to do blood tests to eliminate any other problems."
And then he turns to me.
"Your insurance requires that, before we determine any course of treatment, we must test you for potency. We'll need to take a sample for analysis, and that's not covered by your insurance. It'll be $247."
OK.
So we go, get stuck, my wife goes in the stirrups, has a not-so-delicate examination of her delicate spots with massive quantities of lubrication, I get my instructions and appointment for my...er, session...and we leave, stunned.
My wife breaks the silence by quoting that Jeff Foxworthy routine about how he wasn't lying about how that stuff keeps running down your leg, no matter how much you try to scrub it off...She just wasn't comfortable....
I retorted with, "How do you think I feel. I've gotta pay $247 for self-service!"
We started laughing and howling and coming up with line after line. Suddenly my wife saw this for the comedy it was. We honestly thought it could at the least be a good 8 to 10 minute routine, if not a one or two act play.
Comes my appointment, and let's just say it was depressing, the material for self-stimulation was sub-par, and I was a wreck since I had to borrow the money. But after I was finished, I had a lucky hit, so was finally feeling better.
Or so I thought.
The clinic called, having called in a prescription for an uncovered and very expensive medication to treat a long ago treated disease my wife had years ago. Oh, and we were being referred to a liver specialist because our liver counts were out of line. Oh, and my test came up inconclusive and I needed to come back in with another $247.
I did the retest. But I consulted with my own physician, who said there were no problems with my liver panel and ordered another, more complete workup just, as he put it, to "shut them up".
They came up clean as a whistle. So did my wife's. We didn't take the prescription.
Then the final shoe. My wife calls me at work saying the doctor's office called. Both tests came up substandard. Meaning that even if we went in vitro, it was unlikely that I would ever father children.
There went the comedy routine.
Phooey! Wish somebody would reinvent my MobilePro with a real OS (not Win CE or Win Mobile or whatever name its using this week)........
Anyway, Don & Asia's conception stories reminded me of a happier time in my marriage that may have been the turning point in our relationship...as I said, this story has layers of humor & tragedy, so bear with me...
From the time Simon hit 18 months, my wife was in full nesting mode and wanted me to father Bubba's half - sibling. I made an honest effort, but apparently was mis-firing.
Wife made an appointment with the OB-GYN. She left with a diet and nutrition plan. I left with a schedule of when to have sex with my wife.
I liked my prescription better than hers. Sex 4 times in 7 days---guaranteed? I'm there! My wife was NOT amused.
After 3 months of what I called ''Rx sex'' with no results, the OB-GYN referred us to a "fertility clinic" which freaked my wife out.
We took the city bus all the way from our little east side apartment to the swanky west side neighborhood where the clinic was located. The huge number of expensive cars gave me a clue we were way out of our league.
When we saw our chart we knew we were in trouble. The chart had warning labels all over it because of our insurance.... It appears the HMO had strict rules about procedures and policies that had to be followed. We had filled out our questionaires (mine was four pages, my wife's was 27 pages) and the doctor was going over them all with us.
The doctor turns to her and says, "While you're here, I want to do a thoough examination just to save us some time. While you're both here I also want to do blood tests to eliminate any other problems."
And then he turns to me.
"Your insurance requires that, before we determine any course of treatment, we must test you for potency. We'll need to take a sample for analysis, and that's not covered by your insurance. It'll be $247."
OK.
So we go, get stuck, my wife goes in the stirrups, has a not-so-delicate examination of her delicate spots with massive quantities of lubrication, I get my instructions and appointment for my...er, session...and we leave, stunned.
My wife breaks the silence by quoting that Jeff Foxworthy routine about how he wasn't lying about how that stuff keeps running down your leg, no matter how much you try to scrub it off...She just wasn't comfortable....
I retorted with, "How do you think I feel. I've gotta pay $247 for self-service!"
We started laughing and howling and coming up with line after line. Suddenly my wife saw this for the comedy it was. We honestly thought it could at the least be a good 8 to 10 minute routine, if not a one or two act play.
Comes my appointment, and let's just say it was depressing, the material for self-stimulation was sub-par, and I was a wreck since I had to borrow the money. But after I was finished, I had a lucky hit, so was finally feeling better.
Or so I thought.
The clinic called, having called in a prescription for an uncovered and very expensive medication to treat a long ago treated disease my wife had years ago. Oh, and we were being referred to a liver specialist because our liver counts were out of line. Oh, and my test came up inconclusive and I needed to come back in with another $247.
I did the retest. But I consulted with my own physician, who said there were no problems with my liver panel and ordered another, more complete workup just, as he put it, to "shut them up".
They came up clean as a whistle. So did my wife's. We didn't take the prescription.
Then the final shoe. My wife calls me at work saying the doctor's office called. Both tests came up substandard. Meaning that even if we went in vitro, it was unlikely that I would ever father children.
There went the comedy routine.
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